Dear Mary Tyler Mom,
I’ve only been part of this amazing bloggymama world for a short time. I came across you and your wonderful family through several of the incredibly inspirational women I’ve met along this journey. The first blog post of yours I read was The Hole in the Middle of the Bed. I wept. I wept because of the injustice of losing a child; I wept because of the strength, courage, and grace with which you carry yourself; I wept because in reading about your heartache and triumph of spirit, I realized that sometimes it takes being broken and still having faith to be able to help others who are suffering.
Today, for the first time, I watched the video of Donna singing “Blue Suede Shoes.” I smiled through the tears streaming down my face… her sweet little face, serious eyes focused on the song, goofily gorgeous make-face-for-the-camera grin… and most of all, your laughter. That’s what it’s about. The moment, the laughter, the love.
I am so, so sorry that you don’t have your darling Donna here with you. I would love to give you a hug – though it would change nothing, I know you would feel my spirit aching for yours. I am so sorry you have to live with the injustice of losing a child forever. I am so sorry.
I am also grateful. I’m grateful that you chose to share Donna with the world, that you chose to share your journey as a mother who has lost a child – and still carries on, with an amazing ray of light. I’m grateful that your story is one that has helped me understand that what is important is the time I have with my babies. As I’ve read your words detailing Donna taking dance lessons, Donna going to preschool, Donna being able to visit museums and do things all children should do, I’ve been struck by the determination you have. I can only hope that if I am ever forced to face something so devastating, I will be able to harness that kind of determination to focus on the good, the love, the light, the moment.
I hope. I hope you know that although we’ve never met, and most likely will never meet, your words matter to me. I hope you know that what you’ve shared makes a difference on so many levels… for me, it makes me take pause when I’m frustrated by some silly, inconsequential nothing of an incident. It makes me realize that my time with my children is fleeting, too – and I must decide, as you did, to cherish all the good that is around me, and show them more love than anything else. Guidance, strength, love. Laughter, light, moments. Donna was a fabulously lucky little girl to have you as her Mama. We are all so very lucky, too, that you’re sharing your spirit with us.
With love and light.